Things that stresses me out & solutions

1) Not being able to get pregnant
2) I hate my job

I think those are the only 2 things at the moment

Solutions

1) Wait until we've met with the Doctor's on Nov 7th, maybe I won't need IVF, maybe I'm pregnant already. Don't stress out yet till I know ALL the details. Let it go for now.
Ahhh that feels so much better already.

2) Well I'm in a 1 year contract. Can't do nothing about it now. Just be nice & humble, and think about paying my bills & the beautiful home that we will move into next year. Also this job will be over next year.

Now writing all this down doesn't make me all sad. I feel good knowing that there were only 2 stressors in my life. Both will be resolved, it will take time.

Which sucks, patience isn't one thing I'm the best at. But I will just have to wait it out.

So much pain

It's very difficult to hear that someone else may be pregnant. How do you deal with something like that.
Especially if I'm not able to conceive a child of my own.
It breaks my heart. I don't know how I can take this or how much of it I can take.
At this point I'm just ready to do this IVF to have a baby.
I'm so miserable.

I just wanna cry

We got back the semen analysis results. Husband has bad mophology 4%. It's suppose to be 15% or higher.
Nov 7th is my RE appt. I hope everything is fine with me.

Looks like IVF may be in our future. I just pray that those 4% little swimmers got up there and beat the 96% bad ones to the egg.

No baby as of yet

Still not pregnant yet, still haven't received the semen analysis results yet, still waiting to ovulate, still waiting for November to make an appt with the RE

This waiting game sucks. I'm trying to think of positive things in my life right now.

I also don't have a female to talk to about it, accept people online, but family I haven't said anything to them about it. We are trying to keep things quiet till we know what the deal is. I just have to express all my feelings in this blog till the day I become pregnant.

This waiting game sucks.....

So depressed, angry

I think someone at work is pregnant!!!!!

I just want to scream. Why can't it be me :(

This shit is so depressing. It's so hard dealing with the pain. I just want to cry.

At least next month I'll see the specialist. It's so hard to look on the bright side.

What is wrong with me, WHY AM I NOT PREGNANT YET

Something definately is wrong with one of us.

We should get the semen analysis results sometime this week.

I pray that it's good.

The hardest part

The hardest part of this whole TTC journey is the waiting.

The waiting to see what's wrong inside both of us.

The waiting to see when GOD will bless us with a child.

The stress it brings to your life.

Waiting, it's the hardest part.

Everyday it RAINS!!!!!!!!!

Everyday someone is pregnant, and it puts a little disappointment in my heart :( that it's not me yet.
My period came. I'm on cycle day 3 now. I made the call to the fertility specialist they told me since I'm switching insurance in November just to wait till November to make an appointment. That was the most scariest call I had to make. I felt numb, disappointed inside. All my insurance will cover is diagnostic tests. I just want to make sure everything is fine, that I don't have fibroids, endometriosis, blocked tubes etc.
Then we will have to save money up for treatment, if needed.
Hubby submitted the semen sample on wednesday. He should hear something by next wednesday.
That's all the update for now.