Saturday, September 29, 2007

Seriously Depressed!!!

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Dh is getting his sperm tested on wednesday. I'm going to see the GYN on monday.
I am 9dpo, charts looking good, but I started feeling cramps today.
I just want to cry, I feel so discourged.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to do an early pregnancy test because it may come out negative.
I don't know how much more disappointment I can take with all this.

Friday, September 14, 2007

1st step in seeing what's wrong with me or him.

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Well I made a doctors appointment for October 1st. I will see my GYN first for a consult visit. She told me I will be pregnant in 1 year, and guess what? It hasn't happened.
My husband made an appointment for September 20th for his doctor.
He's a bit embarresed. I'm not anymore. I just want to verify that everything is fine with us, and what can we do to speed up the process.

Today at work I saw a woman who was pregnant. She got married around the same time my husband & I did. To see her pregnant I was a tad bid sad for me, but happy for her.

Well I'll have to update you after the appointment.
Wish us luck

Sunday, September 2, 2007

A note from fertilityfriend.com

In most cases, you should not discard temperatures, even if they were taken under less than ideal circumstances and do not look pleasing on your chart. Usually Fertility Friend is able to detect your ovulation and give you a good interpretation even with a few "odd" temperatures. It is best to include them and make a note of the circumstances. When a temperature is not accurate and is preventing you from getting a reasonable analysis, then you can consider discarding the temperatures, though you may want to ask for support before doing so. Never discard temperatures to "shape" your chart to make it look pleasing to you.

That last part is extremely funny. While going over my chart today I noticed that my temperature took a dive for the worst. However I slept with the window open and it was 60 degrees outside & I was freezing in my sleep. I even dreampt about being cold. My temp was 97.78. However when I took a nap this afternoon, and the temp outside was in the 80's, I took my temp to see how it was & it was 98.48, back on track. LOL
I am now 14 days past ovulation. 2 negative pregnancy tests. I guess I'll wait till 18 dpo. Where is my period??? I definately don't want it to come, but if feels like it is but hasn't showed it's ugly face.

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I hope I'm pregant. It would be amazing for us to be pregnant.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Purpose of Life

I just took a pregnancy test that is negative. I'm also tipsy as I type this. What is the purpose of being alive if I can be a mommy. What is the purpose of being alive if I can't conceive. What is my purpose of life. What was the purpose of me going to school, doing everything like I was suppose to do. Find a husband, get married, if I can't have a baby. What is the purpose of life. What will I do when I'm 60 & all alone, no brothers, no sisters, no friends, no children. How will my husband love me, if I can't make any babies for him?? Who will take care of us when we age.
What is the purpose of LIFE????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????